Have the ability to be specific about what you are meaning to convey

Often times in conversation, people will use a verbal version of shorthand to get a concept or idea across in a quick way. In the personal world, some examples would be….

“I could feel their energy’' or “They were being really mean” or perhaps “Life is really dragging on me right now”

In a business setting,. an example would be something like…

“You really need you to be a team player” or “You can make as much money as you want here” or something like “We really need you to do better”

If you can’t explain what you mean clearly and concisely, with specifics to where most people would easily understand the actually meaning of what you are trying to convey, then at least thinking about it more in this way, will not only allow you to further explain if asked (you will actually sound like you are intelligent and thoughtful), you will almost assuredly understand what you think, and why you think it better, for yourself.

In order to word this correctly, and it be received correctly, it has to be done through a clear lens. Meaning it can’t be skewed from your own history, experience, trauma, or emotion. This is incredibly difficult to do. It is something that one should strive for though. With this approach, as long as you are the one giving or asking for clarification in good faith, people can be really understood. This doesn’t mean their will be agreement or no conflict, but there won’t be any confusion over meaning. Also, if you strive for this type of communication (clear lens), you won’t fall into the trap of “well, everyone has some sort of bias/skew/aka dirty lens, so it is ok if I have one too.”

Being able to do this with good intent is also necessary for good communication. It can change how you deliver something, and how someone is likely to receive it. This can also be affected by someone’s “lens”.